*dances a happy jig*
I have another poem over at Every Day Poets! It's called Death March and sticks true to my horror roots, but has a dash of literary spice thrown in for kicks! I do have to say that the editors over there are wonderful. They really worked with me on both poems until I got them correct. Here's hoping to many more poems *clinks glass*
This is the last thing that I have gotten published since "the transition" but I do have some new things in the works, so cross your fingers for me and good luck to all of you waiting for your acceptances!
Happy writing (and poeming!)
Kara
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
The Breaks, Cracks and Damage
Holy crab balls has this been exhausting. Many people go through ups and downs, it is a fact of life that the deluge drops when everything around us is falling down. And eventually things re-situate themselves and there should be some lesson that has been learned, if we're lucky.
This being a professional blog (at least for me) I try to give glimpses into my life without getting intensely personal, but I suppose there will be times that it just can't happen. I am, only human after all.
This past month and a half has been a riot of chaos vying for my attention in one form or another. While I am still writing (small bits) there seriously has been no time for anything much more than getting dressed and eating. If I am lucky, I get to play with my sweet children. That is the moment where I get to unwind.
Two years and some odd months ago I woke up from a dream, wrote it down and BLAMO I was a writer. I had an identity a sense of purpose that I never had before. It was a growth spurt that I hadn't seen coming but something that I will never doubt about myself again. I am a writer. It was the first time in my life that I felt that I had something for myself. It was right and good and true. Yes, I didn't know what I was doing, I've stumbled and fallen along the way, but I know that with the hard work I will reach and achieve my goals.
Those goals have been put on hold for now, but I will still get there.
Within the last two years I have blossomed into a woman, into the quirky person who is no longer ashamed of herself, her ideas or her sense of being. It had taken thirty years in the making, but I am here and I have found it.
With this situation, I have started plucking the toxic people out of my life, it has been a hard transition with heartbreaking endings, but each lesson I learn has been pushing me forward towards the woman I see myself as. These past two months have been no different. With my child getting pneumonia, my house falling apart around me, plus a new job at full time hours and new responsibility, my children's school work, play work, my pets, my person has been tested, pulled and mushed back together into a slight lump of who I used to be. The mold of me is still here, I am just reforming and trying to used to this new life.
It is a transition, I know that once the dust settles I will be a bigger, better and stronger me. And I won't stop until I get there, I have a handful of amazing people who have been encouraging and cheering me on. They have seen my uglier moments, stripped down and raw -- slightly crazy (from lack of sleep or from coming home and finding my kitchen floor flooded and not being able to anything about it bc I had to take my son to get an x-ray) they have listened to my absent-minded rambling because my filter for "TMI" has been lost in the lump somewhere. I would not be able to be standing if it wasn't for them.
Thankfully, I know who I am. I do have my identity, my sense of self - the desire of respect, the willpower to hold onto what is most important to me. These are my bones. My skeleton. I am a mother, a writer, a woman. I am a good person, a kind person and a hard worker. I am diligent, strong and caring. I can find honesty even in the worst scenarios and I hold tight to the honesty because I am, nothing more than honest even when it makes me angry, when I want to be petty, selfish and flip the chaos the bird, I can't.
These are the things that get me through where sleep is now a commodity and life has no sense or reason. It is just a series of trials that are tossed at me, waiting to see when or how I will break. But the thing about the breaks, the cracks and the damage is that I know that I will always rebuild.
This being a professional blog (at least for me) I try to give glimpses into my life without getting intensely personal, but I suppose there will be times that it just can't happen. I am, only human after all.
This past month and a half has been a riot of chaos vying for my attention in one form or another. While I am still writing (small bits) there seriously has been no time for anything much more than getting dressed and eating. If I am lucky, I get to play with my sweet children. That is the moment where I get to unwind.
Two years and some odd months ago I woke up from a dream, wrote it down and BLAMO I was a writer. I had an identity a sense of purpose that I never had before. It was a growth spurt that I hadn't seen coming but something that I will never doubt about myself again. I am a writer. It was the first time in my life that I felt that I had something for myself. It was right and good and true. Yes, I didn't know what I was doing, I've stumbled and fallen along the way, but I know that with the hard work I will reach and achieve my goals.
Those goals have been put on hold for now, but I will still get there.
Within the last two years I have blossomed into a woman, into the quirky person who is no longer ashamed of herself, her ideas or her sense of being. It had taken thirty years in the making, but I am here and I have found it.
With this situation, I have started plucking the toxic people out of my life, it has been a hard transition with heartbreaking endings, but each lesson I learn has been pushing me forward towards the woman I see myself as. These past two months have been no different. With my child getting pneumonia, my house falling apart around me, plus a new job at full time hours and new responsibility, my children's school work, play work, my pets, my person has been tested, pulled and mushed back together into a slight lump of who I used to be. The mold of me is still here, I am just reforming and trying to used to this new life.
It is a transition, I know that once the dust settles I will be a bigger, better and stronger me. And I won't stop until I get there, I have a handful of amazing people who have been encouraging and cheering me on. They have seen my uglier moments, stripped down and raw -- slightly crazy (from lack of sleep or from coming home and finding my kitchen floor flooded and not being able to anything about it bc I had to take my son to get an x-ray) they have listened to my absent-minded rambling because my filter for "TMI" has been lost in the lump somewhere. I would not be able to be standing if it wasn't for them.
Thankfully, I know who I am. I do have my identity, my sense of self - the desire of respect, the willpower to hold onto what is most important to me. These are my bones. My skeleton. I am a mother, a writer, a woman. I am a good person, a kind person and a hard worker. I am diligent, strong and caring. I can find honesty even in the worst scenarios and I hold tight to the honesty because I am, nothing more than honest even when it makes me angry, when I want to be petty, selfish and flip the chaos the bird, I can't.
These are the things that get me through where sleep is now a commodity and life has no sense or reason. It is just a series of trials that are tossed at me, waiting to see when or how I will break. But the thing about the breaks, the cracks and the damage is that I know that I will always rebuild.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
The Tag! A Meme of Questionable Proportions.
My friend, Mr. Ben Solah, likes to play tag and I'm it! He stated something about people hating Meme's, but I find them quite enjoyable, although I haven't done one since I only had about two followers -- I believe it's time again, don't you? :)
1. If you could have any superpower, what would you have? Why?
The ability to absorb anyone elses power. Rogue is my favorite superhero. She rocks.
2. Who is your style icon?
"People either answered this as a fashion style icon, or a writing style icon. Both change for me all the time and depending on my mood." - From Ben, himself but it rings true for me as well.
As for writing, I have to say that I was literally blown away with Charles Bukowski's writing style the way it is haphazardly placed in such a strategic way that it appears unintentional, but know that it can not be.
With Fashion, I am currently in the moment of finding my fashionista style. I like the vintage look it's fun and quirky just like me. But I also love anything black, it looks fabulous on me. :)
3. What is your favorite quote?
Oh, geeze. There really are so many quotes, I'm afraid to pick just one. However I will go with the one which popped into my mind when I first read the question. Does that make it my favorite? I have no clue, but it must mean something, right?"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." Elenore Roosevelt.
I really adore the positive quality and the rightness of this statement, and once you get "it" it's hard to allow anyone else and their opinions bother you.
4. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?
Hmmm... well, this is sort of an odd question, eh? No direct quote comes to mind but it has to be when my best friend Andrea, told me what she really thought about me and I was shocked to find out how she saw me in such a positive light that it brought tears to my eyes.
5. What playlist/CD is in your CD player/iPod right now?
I don't have an iPod, but I do have an MP3 player which contains: Amanda Palmer, Regina Spektor, Sonic Youth, Rufus Wainwright, David Bowie, Ingrid Michealson, Vampire Weekend, Kate Nash, Mirah, Ben Folds, RadioHead, Primative Radio Gods, The Dresden Dolls, PJ Harvey, Pixies, Lily Allen, and Danny Elfman.
6. Are you a night owl or a morning person?
That is a tough question. I have to say that I am salted of both night owlish qualities and chipper morning qualities. I'm a friend to both, and it just depends on the day (she says writing this at 2:46am)
7. Do you prefer dogs or cats?
I always believed that I was a cat person, but I have to say that in the last couple of months my pup, Riley, has really been there for me when I've needed her. She senses things that my kitten, Agador just doesn't seem to want to be bothered with, and while I appreciate his independence I certaily adore Riley's loyalties.
8. What is the meaning behind your blog name?
The meaning behind my blog name....lol, well anyone who knows me for more than a passing comment knows of the crazy warble and fantastic random garble in my head. It only seemed appropriate that I honor it with the title for my blog. I had an instance last year where I had to start a new blog, thankfully, I got to use a similar and better title. :)
Now it’s time to tag other people… (I always hate this part, bc I love all of the blogs I follow.)
And that's it, please feel free to take the Meme for yourself, and considered yourself "ghost" tagged if I didn't toss your name up there, you are still "IT!"
AHAH! And a must note right here ---> Mr. Lee Thompson and I are throwing a contest, sadly I have been slightly lax in promoting it (slaps wrists with a ruler, bad Kara! Bad!!), but there is still time, please show us your talents and pop over here (CLICK!) to see the rules, regulations formulas that will help you win the kickassidness prizes that Lee is giving out to those deemed most talented (yet there is no crow but other stuff that is almost as good such as -- 1st Place: A One-year subscription to Dark Discoveries (or another mag if you're already subscribed to DD. If you are, great! They rock!); 2nd Place: An awesome Tee from The Bag and The Crow! Mine makes me look edgy! You want to look edgy too, don'tcha?; 3rd Place: An awesomely random book, but I can tell you this: It will be from the super cool Tasmaniac Publications. I've got a ton of their books and they're dyn-o-mite. :)), enter! Do it! What's the worse that could happen??
Have a great and wonderful day, lovelies!
Happy writing :)
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