Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Waiting.

I am not a patient person.

Over time I have learned to hold off on my irritation for less than spectacular timing, but I still hate waiting. Now, I've started the hardest task of my life -- submitting stories and poems. It is the second round of subbing for me. Last time was a no go and I too a break to learn a little more. For the last six weeks I have been sending out three things per week just to get a feel for it again.

I figured if I kept sending stuff out, eventually it would start looping around as the rejections or (hopefully!!) acceptances came and I could continue on in my merry subbing. The time has come where I have run out of things to sub and now I have to stock pile more of my musings in a sellable way. However, while I'm doing just such a thing I've realized I haven't heard back from anyone yet.

As everyone who will read this blog, published and unpublished writers alike, will tell me that I have to be patient, and that six weeks isn't that long of a time to have to wait for something. Sometimes it takes five months. Other times, it takes a year.

I do understand this. I really do. And I'm going to blame my little whining binge on the fact I'm doubting my writing ability right now and I'm left scratching my head wondering if I did the right thing in sending out my pieces. Because of my blank little lapse in writing, I've had time to think and wonder...sometimes that's not a good thing.

My mind is racing like the slutty girl running for her life in the opening scene of a horror film. We all know how it is going to end for her, bloody and dead. But I can't help it today.

Why do I do this to myself? Why am I stressing myself out when I know that these insane thoughts will only pressure me to have grandeur, maddening thoughts that will trip my mind up on a tree inevitably leading my doomed, unanswered ideas with an ax/saw or icepick.

Will editors look at my stories/poems and laugh in a bad way? Will they not even bother with a response because my work is just so poor? No matter how I prepared, people check my work twice and three times over just to make sure the grammar is correct or that everything is cohesive, what if it still had mistakes?

How do I stop these thoughts before I go crazy?

I'm assuming time will help erase the jittering, panicked feeling of "What was I thinking I could write?!" but for now, I'm left with the waiting.

Maybe I'll learn some patience along the way. I hope I do, but for now I'm going to keep subbing, keep writing and kill those crazy thoughts with my own icepick (before they get me.) There's nothing more I can do, and once I get back into the swing of things, it'll all seem like a bad dream. Right?


PJ Ray said...

I didn't have a lick of patience when I first subbed stuff - that's why I looked up who respsonded FAST and I sent stuff to those markets. I got my first response back in a day - All Things Girl - maybe you should try some quick returns and get the ball rolling - it's fun and addicting - so be careful :)

K.Hinny said...

Thanks Paula! I'll have to look into it! I promise I will be careful, tho I'm hoping they won't ALL be rejections :P

Bea Sempere said...

Hey Hinny,

I feel your pain about waiting. First off, DO NOT even think about what editors are thinking when they read your works. Thick skin girl. If they reject, it's nothing personal, you just don't fit their publication.

I gave you that one site that has a bunch of literary magazines to submit to. I created a spreadsheet to track who and what I submitted and their response.

Many places accept simultaneous submissions, so why not change it up and submit to some contests. There are a bunch of contests out there. Try those out too.

I thought you had a novel in progress? Maybe you should focus on revisions there too.

This is all I can suggest for the time being. We're all with you though when it comes to waiting, rejections and some acceptances.

Good Luck!

Cate Gardner said...

No editor worth their salt is going to laugh at you. I echo Paula's advice, check out the quick response markets on Duotrope and don't worry about those rejections we all get them.

K.Hinny said...

Bea! Yes!! I love that site soo much! Thanks again for it.

Cate, I'll have to check Duotroupe out.

I'm not really too worried most days. I know it will happen just when that little nagging doubt faerie comes along ya know? That's when the worry's sprout up. Luckily I can crush them pretty quickly.

Thanks for commenting and reading!
Happy writing

Shadow said...

Hey hon,

I'm in there with you on the waiting to hear back from peeps. Not about writing, but about jobs. Urg... why does it take sooo long?

But oh well, I'll be doing some submitting soon, so look for the complaints in a few months.

*passes over some silly putty to keep you busy*

K.Hinny said...

*takes silly putty*

Thanks Shadow! I'll give some back to ya when you're ready to sub, I heard it's a great stress reliever as well.

Demon Hunter said...

You'll do well. Keep subbing! In the meantime, keep writing and don't even think about it. ;-)

K.Hinny said...

Thanks Tyhitia! I plan to keep doing both!

Serenity J. Banks said...

Hey, Hinny, if it makes you feel any better, I'm going on five years with a no-response from Leisure. :D That includes one two-pound, snail-mail sub, one follow-up letter a year and a half later, one email resubmission three and a half years later, and a whole lot of ain't-heard-squat. Needless to say, I think the answer is "We're not interested." Still makes me giggle.

K.Hinny said...

Thanks for coming to my blog Serenity! Sorry I didn't see this eariler! That sucks for the five years thing! Thanks for sharing your story!