Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Work

I've been hinting with each post that my life has had some upheaval, that things are never what they seem and that I will soon be working my way back into the writing world, the community I miss so very much. While all of those statements are vague but true, I have to say it's going to take some work.

Precious planning and baby steps have gotten me to the point where I am at least ready to blog again. I am working more, and spending more time with my children as a single parent. My life has been turned upside down and while I understand the harder times that may befall on me, I am pleased with the new challenges, tasks and life set ahead of me.

Things are slowly working their way back, where I want them to be. Where I've been striving to get to for so long to be honest it *is* hard work.

Not that any one thing that I have to contend with is difficult. I received a new position at my job, it's an adjustment and temporary, but I'm excited nonetheless. A lot of change has come my way in a brief and short four weeks. Being a parent to my children is nothing new, writing is a little over two years old and keeping my house in order is something I did frequently as a stay-at-home mom.

Most of the transition I am feeling is just that... my feelings. And thankfully, for me, I have wonderful people in my life to help me sort out the muckity muck -- the being hard on myself for not being "supermom" right away or even just taking the time it takes to make my way into my new life. I have most of the stuff down pat, which is part of the reason I do become hard on myself, because I do know I can do it. I have done everything I need to take on this new endeavor with flying colors. I am just not ready to do it. It's the waiting that's grating on me (no, I did not mean to rhyme, but it adds a little funness to the post, don't you all agree?) every time I think I get a handle on something, a little pebble comes in and trips me. I stumble a little, but I keep going. I know that only baby steps will get me there, one goal at a time and to be cliche, one foot in front of the other (yes, I know I can do better, but a little cliche goes a long way sometimes.)

There is little that I am afraid of, being stuck in the same place is one of my true fears, it grips me wholly and completely and helps add a certain panic to an already intense situation. But, I believe, once I get over that and start to trust in myself -- know that I am not going to become stuck -- once again, I will find my balance.

Once I accept this, the work will come naturally. And only with work, will I be able to achieve myself.

8 comments:

Laurie said...

Girlie, I think you're making great strides. {{hugs}}

Aaron Polson said...

A little cliche goes a very long way. ;) We're all here, pulling for you.

C. D. Collins said...

There is a saying out my way Kara. Cowboy Up. For you, Cowgirl UP! Stay tough no matter how hard life starts to buck, you've got to hold on for the whole 8 seconds. Cowgirl UP! Super hugs :)

Bea Sempere said...

Kara, It sounds like you have a full plate and one who expects to swallow a mouthful in one gulp. Nibbles and small bites are acceptable too.

You know who you are and how you can balance things. Kudos to your new position and to your writing.

Being a single mother is the hardest job in the world, so some days it's all right to hang up your super cape to let it air out.

(((((((HUGS)))))))) TO YOU KARA!!

K.Hinny said...

Lee, Thanks for the hugs!

Laurie, thanks, hon!

Aaron, LOL, I agree :D

Dan, Thanks!!

Bea, thanks for the great words! I am trying to learn not to be so hard on myself :D

Thanks all for the fantastic support!

craighallam said...

As I always say when things get shitty...everything is just material that hasn't been written down yet.

Have at it!

Hope you keep getting better.

Haggis said...

Hang tough, Hinny. I know you'll do just fine. :)

Demon Hunter said...

You're doing great, Kara. I'm so proud of you, girl. ;-)